Copyright © 2006 Ron Schwartz
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Pretenders 

December 18, 2006

From Ron Schwartz  

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Matthew 23:23-28 KJV

23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites [Greek: hupokrites]! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites [Greek: hupokrites]! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.

27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites [Greek: hupokrites]! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Strong’s Concordance says this about the Greek word hupokrites (hoop-ok-ree-tace'): an actor under an assumed character (stage-player), i.e., (figuratively) a dissembler ("hypocrite").

Seven times in this chapter alone, Jesus uses the word hypocrite.  Our English word hypocrite is a transliteration of the noun form of this Greek word: hupokrites. It means, “to pretend, one who acts a part, one who wears a mask” or “acts as something one is not.”   Hupokrites was used to describe “an actor, a stage player, or a pretender.”   It interesting that the origins and idea of the word of hypocrisy originated not from religious counterfeits, but from the description of a stage-actor.

Hupokrites

Consider the Pharisees during the time of Christ.   They were well intentioned.  They patterned their behavior after the scripture as they understood it.  They paid tithe on everything.  They arrayed themselves in holy garments because they understood from the law that priestly garments were important to God.  Consequently, they saw nothing wrong with practicing a faith that was simply an outward show of religion.

This is from where modern day pretenders come.  They read the scripture and then mimic what they understand it to mean.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 KJV

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

There is only one reason for pretenders: the lack substance.  People who lack substance are often driven with a desire to be something that they are not.  If there were really anything to their spiritual lives they’d know that there is no greater achievement than to serve.  But this doesn’t satisfy pretenders.  They want the grandeur of titles and respect.

For me, there is nothing more disconcerting than to converse with Christian leaders who believe they embrace New Testament teaching simply because they mimic it.   They believe that if they “act (hupokrites)” the part of a prophet or apostle, they are one.   They clone their mannerisms and teachings like “an actor (hupokrites),” mimicking first generation apostles and prophets, but that’s all it is: an act.  Underneath, they and others know that all they are is show, a form of godliness, with very little actual substance.  They are like the Pharisees who believe that “acting” out the scripture is what pleases God.  They falsely assume that their pretending is a sacrifice to God.   They would do well to learn from the words of Samuel: “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams (1 Sam 15:22).”

Then there are others who mimic New Testament church meetings thinking that this is what makes them a New Testament church.  But once again it is an “act (hupokrites).”  As a result, many Christians believe that if they involve themselves in a church that has the outward display (hupokrites) of New Testament spiritual gifts, then the power and ministry demonstrated in the New Testament will belong to them.  When the power of God does not manifest, they go about to manufacture it (hupokrites).

There are still others who believe that if they involve themselves with home churches like what is described in the New Testament, it will somehow bring about the result seen in the New Testament.  But that is merely structure, and structure is not what releases God’s power.

What we find today is what Paul predicted: a shameless display of “form” without any real substance. There are those who resist this form of teaching, denying that they could be part of such hypocrisy.  In my experience, however, such denial is usually confined to those in Christian leadership.  The congregation can easily see through the charade.

The Dangers of Pretending

As parents, we smile at our children’s efforts to pretend since we know it is harmless.  Children know they are just pretending: they are not trying to convince others that they are something they are not.  With adults, there is a definite difference.  Jesus came down on pretenders with the worst possible condemnation.   To no other group did He express such contempt and hostility.  Why?  Because their actions do harm others.

Christian leaders who pretend can have devastating effects on others.  When leaders pretend, they are disregarding or disrespecting the operation of the Holy Spirit when they willing mimic it.  They essentially reject the true operation of the Spirit (which operates for the benefit of others) for self gain.  They place their own objectives above the will of God.  Therefore, pretenders are anything but harmless.  They can justify hurting people and other courses of action because they simply pretend the scripture says what they want it to say.  That is why it is impossible to reason with a pretender.  They simply pretend that you are wrong.

When pretenders pretend to be leaders they also pretend to teach.  So even their teaching can become harmful.  A self-proclaimed apostle recently explained that to have unity people were required to 1) become members, 2) give tithes, and 3) obey the elders.  This seems “harmless” enough – as harmless as a child pretending.   Just because the idea of church membership isn’t necessarily scriptural it doesn’t necessarily make it wrong or harmful.  Also, since the New Testament does asks for 100%, asking for a mere 10% does seem reasonable.   And what about the idea of having church elders?  Having elders is certainly supported by scripture.   This is true.   So what is the harm in requiring these things?  When this type of harmless teaching is used to evict children from a church then it is far from harmless.

A child was asked to leave a church for the sake of “unity” because he was not in agreement with this teaching.  It’s important to understand that there didn’t seem to be an issue regarding things that really mattered like the doctrinal beliefs of salvation, baptism, the gospel of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the godhead, or spiritual gifts.  The issue was regarding the church regulations of tithing, membership, and leaders - regulations that had little, if any, spiritual benefit.  The child simply believe himself to be a member of the body of Christ and therefore becoming a member of the church was not necessary in order to attend.  The child didn’t believe himself to be limited to the giving of just ten percent, or that obedience to elders should ever usurp his obedience to his parents or God.   Furthermore, the child believed that elders were like “tutors and governors” that he was to eventually out grow and become. 

None of his beliefs were wrong.  In fact, his beliefs were better supported in the New Testament then the church regulations.  Nevertheless, this leader felt that the boy’s beliefs were a paramount issue threatening the unity of the church.  Consequently, a kangaroo court was convened, and the boy was evicted.  There was no trial, the boy was not allowed to speak on his own behalf or to explain his beliefs, his true beliefs were distorted, he was judged through hearsay, and there was no means for appeal.  His parents were told that the leader was not interested in hearing a response or an explanation.  Can you imagine God judging Christians in this manner?  There is no knowing what impact this form of abuse will eventually have on this child.  So ask yourself, since when has unity boiled down to compliance to church regulations?  What have churches become when our children are handled like chattel?   How can church regulations be placed above the soul of a child?

Try comparing the requirements for unity (in the account above) to those of joining a health club?  With a health club, you must 1) become a member and agree to the regulations, 2) pay membership dues (i.e., tithing), and 3) you must obey the club rules.  Is it possible that health clubs have stumbled onto the secrets of unity?  How far have Christian leaders fallen when they equate unity in their church to the operation of a health club?   It is a sad commentary when churches bear more resemblance to health clubs than they do to the Church of the living God.

In reality, unity has nothing to do with membership, tithing, or subjugation to leaders.  Unity is something that only the Holy Spirit can create.  Unity among brethren can exist even when there is a difference in doctrine.  But when pretenders try to manufacture unity outside the working of the Spirit, it usually resembles something you would find in a health club.   They create unity through the heavy hand of control and through the threat of eviction.  If unity in your church requires the expulsion of children, then what kind of a church are you trying to create?

Pretenders hurt God because they claim to be God’s representatives, yet they are driven by fleshly motives for control, power, and greed.  It is for this reason that Jesus pronounced the highest condemnation upon them.  Toward sinners, who were every bit as sinful as the pretenders, Jesus demonstrated compassion, care, and kindness.  Unlike the pretenders, sinners acknowledge their sin.   They seek help.   Pretenders want no help – not even from God – and they continue on their course with hurt people and children in their wake.  They have all that they need.   The only thing they want from others is the same thing that health clubs seek: membership and money (tithes).   Consequently, both pretenders and their teaching can be harmful and have dreadful consequences. 

At this point I have to apologize for the metaphorical use of health clubs.  It is unfair to equate health clubs to abusive churches since health clubs actually provide a benefit for their members.  People receive something for their membership and dues: they get healthy. 

Pathogenic

Pretenders tend to be pathogenic.  That is, they are “disease-causing.”  Their pernicious ways infect their congregations.   People quickly learn that to be accepted and acknowledged they must also become pretenders.  Therefore, people who follow pretenders tend to become pretenders too.  It’s not unusual to see supporters lie for their leader, or use manipulation, coercion, and other tactics that mark an abusive church.

The following is a list of characteristics of an abusive church lead by an abusive leader.  Note the strong similarity to a cult (taken from: www.csj.org.  From the book, Churches That Abuse, by Dr. Ronald Enroth):

·         There is strong, control-oriented leadership.

·         Leadership uses guilt, fear, and intimidation to manipulate members and keep them in line.

·        Followers are led to think that there is no other church quite like theirs, and that God has singled them out for a special purpose.

·        Other, more traditional, churches are put down as being less ‘holy.’

·        Subjective experience, especially public or group testimonials (sometimes coached) are encouraged and emphasized.

·        Many areas of members' lives are subject to scrutiny, and the church standards established are usually based upon the life-style adopted by the leader.

·        Rules and legalism abound.

·        Members not following rules established by the leadership (or threatening exposure of the manipulation and abuse) are often labeled "reprobates" or "dupes of Satan," and are dealt with harshly. Ostracism of former members and excommunication of dissenters are common.

·        For members choosing to leave a spiritually abusive church, returning to the realm of normalcy is difficult.

People who go to pretending churches with pretending abusive leaders often, without realizing it, fall into the Abused Wife Syndrome.

Ever wonder why any rational woman would stay with an abusive husband?  In the following commentary, I use a list of reasons why women endure abuse (taken from Family Life found at: www.marriagemissions.com) to show the similarity between an abused congregation and an abused wife.

·         She still loves him, she feels sorry for him, she believes she can help him, or she feels the good times outweigh the bad.

Many congregation members will avidly defend an abusive leader because of a fondness that develops.  Many members feel empathy for the weaknesses of their leader and simply overlook it.  The dynamics of family relationships actually develop between the members of a small, close-knit church.   Members must guard from misconstruing this fondness and friendship as the unity of the Spirit.  It is not.

·         She blames herself and thinks she deserved the beatings.

Abusive leaders constantly point to the anger and resentment of their congregations as reasons they need their abuse.   It becomes circular.  The abuse causes the anger and resentment which then leads to further abuse, which they falsely believe they deserve.

·         She may think other people will believe it's her fault.

No matter why someone leaves the church of an abusive leader, it is always because they are “bad.”  No one wants to be labeled a “bad” person by their friends, so they tend to go into denial.  Abusive leaders quickly learn that they can get away with treating people badly, so the cycle of abuse continues, widens, and thickens.

·         She has no other support system available (friends, family, etc.), or she fears being alone.

This is probably the most difficult challenge people face when considering leaving an abusive situation.  Most churches are far more than a body of believers.   They become social centers for the entire family.  Most, if not all, of their friends are go there.  There are activities to fill the week.   If they leave, where will they go?  Their social ties are stronger than the abuse.   So they stay.

·     She came from an abusive home so the violence seems natural.

Many people have been raised in churches like this and see this form of abuse as normal.  Let me assure you that abuse is normal only to the flesh.  Christian leaders who are abusive are not godly: they are fleshly, and they know very little of God’s mind and heart.  Additionally, certain types of churches are more likely to be abusive.  These are generally independent churches, large churches, or churches where the leader is accountable to few in anyone.  Since people tend to go to the type of church they were raised in they tend to introduce the next generation to the same cycle of abuse.  It all seems quiet natural to people who were raised in abuse.

·         She denies or minimizes the abuse.

To admit there is abuse would require them to do something about it.  So people tend to minimize it.

·     She stays because of religious or cultural beliefs (i.e., believing she is abandoning God or her parent's values if she leaves).

This is something abusive leaders teach, but it is not scripture.  They teach that unless you are subjugated to them you are in error, when in fact the exact opposite is true.

·         She believes leaving will mean she is a failure as a wife and mother.

People are made to believe that in leaving an abusive church they are failures, when in fact it is the church that has failed and leaving is the only biblical solution.

·         She doesn’t know anywhere she can move, and she is too afraid or feels too powerless to leave.

Where do you go?  Will the next church to be the same way?  I know many people who have left an abusive church only to find that the next four or five they visit are the same.  They eventually become depressed and apathetic.   They sit though anything that happens at the church as if it were nothing more than a television drama.

This infection can eventually drill down into the family.  Some men become so depressed and apathetic with this abuse of power that they begin to demonstrate little or no spiritual endowment.  Wives often misinterpret this as meaning their husband is unsaved.  It can sometimes lead to divorce.  The real issue is that many men have lost hope.  They feel they cannot change things, and when they try, they are just beaten down.  It seems that every church is just more of the same, and few, if any, pastors are actually interested in the gift(s) at work in them.

Many writers acknowledge the lack of husband/father spiritual leadership in the home and the church, and there is much speculation concerning this issue.  The sad truth is that many of these men are victims of the contemporary church.   What makes matters worse is that they come home to a wife who doesn’t understand and similarly beats him down for not being the spiritual leader.  Many have tried, and many have failed.   How can they take the lead in a system that doesn’t want their leadership?  For men to take the spiritual lead in their families and churches, they must be given a place where they can lead.  We must free them from the abuse of power that oppresses many churches.

The pathogenic ways of abusive leaders infects the congregation first, then the family.  As a result, we find the Western societies with the highest divorce rate in the world.  Can pretenders be a part of this problem?

Conclusion

We must stop minimizing the devastating effect that pretenders are having on the church.  Remember the words of Jesus:

Matthew 18:3-6 KJV

3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

And if I might add the following to the last verse, “…then face Me [Jesus]!”

No amount of believing and knowing the truth can excuse the abuse of power.  Christian pretenders will eventually be called to answer for their actions.

Statistics show that children who live in abusive families often grow up into abusive relationships.  Family Life (www.marriagemissions.com) tells us:

“Boys who witness their father's abuse of their mothers are more likely to inflict severe violence when they become adults. Data suggest that girls who witness maternal abuse are more likely to tolerate abuse as adults. Children from abused homes often have relationship and marital problems as adults. And the struggle with the concept of God, finding it especially difficult to accept the love of an eternal, heavenly Father.

You do not deserve to be abused, nor are you to blame for the abuse that you have suffered. Abuse of any type is wrong, and if you are in an abusive situation, the first step toward new life and freedom is to recognize that there is a need for a change in your life. Change can be difficult, and in some cases, change can be frightening. However, in any type of an abusive situation, change is absolutely necessary for your own well being.”

It is the sociological nature of humanity to tend toward the environment in which we were raised.  It is important to understand that the abuse described above does not need to come from a father.  It can come from a pastor, an elder, or anyone who puts himself (or herself) in a parental position with others.  Therefore, if you raise your children in churches with abusive leaders, they will gravitate toward the same type of church with their own families.  So by getting out of that kind of church, you just might spare your children and grandchildren the same fate.

Parents and congregations, husbands and fathers, you must see pretenders for what they are and then take action if you are to preserve your family and be the parent/spouse that God called you to be.  Yes, it will be difficult.  Yes, your family may oppose you in that you are taking them from friends and social ties.  But you, not the pretender, are the head of your household.  You must do what is right for your family, and sometimes doing what is right hurts.

Wives, perhaps there is a reason for your husband’s lack of interest in the things of God.  Perhaps he’s not in a place that allows him to function in the gift that God has placed in his heart.  Perhaps he has rejected what he sees presented before him as Christian leaders.  Perhaps you need to make the change for the sake of your husband and marriage.

Most families integrate into a church at a social level.  When a family reaches social integration, they go to church because it is the socially acceptable thing to do.  There may be no real spiritual development in the husband, wife, or children, but they will continue with this church simply because of the social integration.  This is the sad commentary on too many Western churches.  People attend because the church provides social platforms for families, children, and singles to meet and develop friendships.  There is nothing really wrong with it in that sense.  In fact, if all of a sudden every Christian social church would close, Christians would simply congregate someplace else to satisfy their social needs.  After all, Christians tend to be very social.

Where the contemporary church goes wrong is when the social club pretends to be a church.  People have come to misconstrue a social gathering for a church meeting.  They are not the same. This sort of pretending is costing many their spiritual health.   Christians go to social churches believing they will grow spiritually when all they receive is social food.  Consequently, many Christians have come to equate spirituality with subjectivity or meditation.  These social churches are just pretenders. Nevertheless, they are the prototype for Western churches (i.e., the bigger the church, the more social offerings).   With this prototype, we find that the pretending social churches of the West provide great social experiences but are some of the most spiritually immature churches in the world.

Pretenders and abusers love to use scripture like, “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them (Romans 16:17).”   They interpret this scripture to say anyone who doesn’t obey and follow all the dictates of their church are rebels and troublemakers.  When Paul wrote, “the doctrine which ye have learned” he was not referring to their pet church customs but the doctrine that the apostles and Jesus taught. 

Do not feel that you can ever reason this with a pretender.  They will just pretend that they are okay, you are wrong, they are following God, the bible supports their beliefs, and that they are special to God.  Therefore, you must be careful if you call into question their abusive behavior. You must be prepared to be the target of the animosity of an entire church.  Pretenders are not capable of seeing their error.  They pretend so much that they can justify anything they do.  And they will attack you viciously.  It’s best simply to just leave such a church.  Remember, even no church is better than an abusive one.

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